neverplaysfair | Game 036 [Action/Voice]

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Game 036 [Action/Voice] - Once More With Feeling

[ If you happen to be celebrating the new year with some coffee or pastries or... whatever else Hanekoma feeds people at Kat's Kradle, then you might hear the sound of someone tuning a violin coming from the second story.

It starts off quite out of tune, but within a minute or two, it sounds fine. Then, Joshua starts up a piece of music: fast-paced, somewhat frantic, somewhat chaotic, without chorus or verse, but it has an overall feel to it of life, of progress, of change.

Or maybe you just missed the whole performance.

Either way, a little later, the following goes out over the journal. ]

Why do you want to go home? [ And then, after a short pause, ]

Why do you want to stay?

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Then why would coming here mean they're not "okay"?

[You're much too clever, Joshua. Tsuzuki becomes uncomfortable and changes the subject.]

I'm just glad they've never had to be vivisected.

Are you homesick, by any chance?

[ He is also not letting it go so quick. ]

Mmm, that's not the right word. But are you simply downplaying the things that happen when they happen to you?

There's something you miss, otherwise you wouldn't have begun to talk about this.

[Damn. At least he tried.]

And if I did? No one would get hurt that way. Isn't that best?

You would be hurt. If there are those that care about you, they too would be hurt.

It would still be better than having them go through it. Besides, they won't know.

If it came to you remaining here forever and time at home flowing on without you, or those you'd like to check up on coming here under the circumstances we currently assume exist, would you rather vanish from their world, then?

[He nods reluctantly.] But I can't.

Are you so selfish?

I don't - I don't want to talk about this anymore. Not unless you filter our conversation.

Hee hee, fair enough.

[ Give him a few minutes. He's lucky Josh has been practicing. ]

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Do go on, then.

How is it selfish?

Do you think they would accept your disappearance so easily?

What kind of question is that? It's not about me -or my disappearance!- in the first place.

And anyway, as long as they went on to live happy lives, I don't see the problem.

Removing yourself from their lives is the same as insisting they not be brought into yours.

[Deep down, he knows that. That's the point. It's a cowardly move, but at least they won't curse him for ruining their lives this way.]

[But he doesn't trust Joshua enough to confirm that. Swallowing his urge to disagree with the young man, he continues.]

Sounds like you know what you're talking about.

Is it something you'd never thought of, or something you don't want to admit to yourself?

What's the difference?

One of those options means you're running away.

Sometimes running away is the only thing you can do.

Are you justifying it now?

Justifying? I know it's impossible to justify it! [Tsuzuki is agitated, and a little caught off guard. He never talks about his issues with anyone else, and now Joshua's asking him questions as a form of free entertainment, it feels like. Tsuzuki shakes his head.]

We're not talking about this anymore.

Edited 2011-01-12 21:34 (UTC)

	
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[filtered 100%] end. He lies to try to feel better about all of this. Denial, man. :I

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